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Archive for April 19th, 2005

Long Live Pope Benedict XVI

Posted by RightWingRocker on April 19, 2005

After losing my bid for Pope (I really didn’t want the job, anyway), I have secured an exclusive interview with his holiness, the newly-elected Pope Benedict XVI. As a proud German-American, I was ecstatic to see that we now have a German Pope. I’m sure you will find his words quite insightful!

RWR: Pope Benedict, It is great to meet you.

The Pope: Danke schoen. Ihnen derselbe.

RWR: Let’s get right to it. There are those who are already calling you “too conservative” to lead the Church into the 21st century. What do you have to say to these people?

The Pope: Das Erbarmen des Christus is eine minderwertige Rettung nicht. Es nimmt eine Uebelstrivialisierung nicht an. Besonders sind wir schon an dem 21sten Jahrhundert. Mein Vorgaenger hat uns hier gebracht.

RWR: Yes, you are definitely right about that. What can you tell me about the tone of the Cardinals during the election process in the Sistine Chapel?

The Pope: An dieser Verantwortungsstunde, hoeren wir mit ausserordentlichen Beachtung, was sagt uns der Gott in seinen eigenen Worten.

RWR: What do you have to say about defeating evil in the world?

The Pope: Christus traegt im Leib und der Seele alle das Gewicht des Uebels, und alle seine zerstoerende Gewalt. Er brennt und setzt das Uebel durch Leiden um, in dem Feuer seiner Leidensliebe.

RWR: And your ministry?

The Pope: Unser geistliches Amt ist ein Geschenk fuer die Menschheit von Christus , um sein Leib aufzubauen – das neue Welt.

RWR: Well, your holiness, I know you have a lot of things to do. Please do keep all of us in your prayers.

The Pope: Die Tatsache, dass Der Gott arbeiten und sich benehmen kann, trotz ungenuegendem Vermoegen, mich troestet, und for allem vertraue ich mich deinen Gebeten an.

RWR: And the same to you.

I wish I had time to ask him what he thought about changing the Eucharist from bread and wine to sauerbraten and beer … Oh well!



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