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Archive for April 1st, 2005

My Plan to Save America

Posted by RightWingRocker on April 1, 2005

OK, folks. It’s time i sat down and took a few minutes to explain exactly how I would save America…

First, I would see to it that no one in any job or investment ever made more than $40,000 a year by taxing all income above that level at 100%. The money collected from that point would fund various programs to clothe and feed the poor, that is, everyone who makes less than $40,000 a year.

All military spending would cease, and new equipment would only be purchased in accordance with UN resolutions authorizing such expenditures. Under no circumstances would US troops ever be put into harm’s way without a UN commander authorizing US military activity.

All religious references in public places would be taken down. This includes all references to the Ten Commandments posted at the US Supreme Court, paintings displayed in public places, crosses at the top of chruch steeples, and any reference to any deity displayed on clothing or jewelry. All religious art would be placed in privately-owned museums with daily admission prices of $40,000 per person. Due to the dangerous nature of religion, no person under the age of 90 would be allowed to purchase a ticket to visit these museums.

Free speech would be allowed, but only non-political speech. No reference to the Founding Fathers or their philosophy wold ever be allowed in any public or private discussion. Of course, readings from the works of Karl Marx and Adolf Hitler would be required reading in all public schools. All private schools would be shut down, starting with those emphasizing religion.

The press would not need to be regulated, since that is currently the only place you can really get a conservative bias these days. As much as I disagree with ABC, NBC, CBS, CNN, MSNBC and others’ blind support of President Bush, this is really the only place a reasonable debate of the issues ever takes place. For being a bully-pulpit for right-wing extremism, Fox News Channel would be shut down.

All guns would be illegal. It would further be illegal to teach any kind of self-defense course to any adult or child, as these are as dangerous as guns. Of course, the police would have guns and be able to shoot to kill anyone seen with a gun or any other weapon, since only criminals would have guns at that point.

In order to be sure that all criminals are properly jailed, all Americans would be required to serve at least five years in prison over every twenty-year period of life. This practice would increase sensitivity to the plight of prisoners nationwide, and perhaps calm some of the call for more use of the death penalty for convicted murderers.

All boys and girls would be required to be sexually active by age 12. Condoms would be distributed daily in their classrooms at school. If the child were absent from school any given day, they would then get their condoms delivered to their homes. Everyone would be required to have at least tried a homosexual relationship prior to marriage, so that homosexual marriages would meet with less resistance.

Every woman would be required to have at least one abortion prior to reaching age 30. And no, there would be no consent required from the father in making the decision as to which pregnancy would be aborted. If a way to abort a pregnancy retroactively were discovered, all children born with birth defects would be aborted, as would anyone caught voting Republican or Libertarian, since only people in a persisitent vegitative state would even consider doing so.

The federal government would have the final say in all matters, regardless of their nature. All decisions would be made by the courts, with the legislatures’ only responsibility being approval of the judges appointed by the executive. Appointing judges would be the only responsibility of the executive.

This would only be a start, but if we could achieve this much, America would be a much better place.



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